Weary

I turned 26 Monday. The day was obstinately Monday-ish, marked by beginning of week obligations; I stayed up until 11:4o reading for school. We celebrated last night, though, with dinner, a movie and bowling (the local alley has $1 games on Wed nights). I am thankful for all my friends and new acquaintances and their contributions of food, drinks and laughter last night.

Also yesterday I met one of the individuals I will be working with as part of my job. His name is Josh, he is 21 years old and has a job and a driver's license. Apparently we will mostly be spending casual time together. I think it will be positive. This morning I had to drive up to the office to watch nearly 3 hours worth of training videos. One was particularly bad: poor image quality, garbled sound, rambling lecture, all in attempt to convince me of something I already thought (i.e. the developmentally disabled should be afforded the same dignity and respect as anyone else. Who would want this job if they didn't already think that?).

As job responsibilities are picking up, I already feel the onset of weariness. To be fair, I had a long day (compounded yesterday by an abundance of meetings I was obligated to by the school yesterday from 8:30 AM to 1 PM) and a late night (the aforementioned celebration). I've taken this job in order to minimize my debts (say I rely on loan $ for 10-20% of my expenses instead of 100%); the thought of forgetting it and scrounging by has definitely occurred to me. But I'm convinced that would not be good stewardship. I believe I'm called to be here, so God will either get me through this or he won't. But I'm not going to take out loans and attribute them to Yahweh my shepherd.

Please don't hear triumphant preachiness in that. I feel as though I only half believe it. I covet any and all prayers for encouragement, joy, discipline, peace--especially that I won't view this job as an intruding burden and thereby become resentful towards its obligations (as I did today).

There is a limited selection of scriptures usually read from as the conclusion to morning and evening prayer; I have been especially posturing myself to receive from God when this one is read/prayed:

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." ~ Romans 15:13